How to Evoke Disaster.....

For Lani: How to Evoke Disaster.... (from Nini's Point of View!)


It could have been worse. 2010 hasn't even properly gotten its groove going yet, but I have already accumulated my first scars and bruises for the new decade.
Places of injury: right neck, shoulder and ankle.
Method of affliction: Horsebackriding.

It was on Isla de Ometepe, Nicaragua when I looked at Lani, my impromptu Fillipino-Australian travelcompanion, and said: “So Lani, what are we going to do tomorrow?”
“I don't know” said Lani. We were both quiet for a while.
I mentioned that I needed something interesting to write about on my blog.
“Yes!” said Lani, “Me too! Something not so funny at the moment, but you can laugh about it afterwards!”
“Exactly!” I said, “Like our chicken bus getting stuck in a lavapit and we can't get out for hours or something!” We laughed and said: “But how do we find ourselves in a situation like that....?”
And then it came to me: “I know! Tomorrow, let's Evoke Disaster!” :D
Lani thought it was a good plan. Just two rules: No emergency injuries and No bodily harm.

Now this is me we're talking about. Evoking disaster without bodily harm?
Who am I kidding??!
I should have known better...

Anyways, it could have been worse.
It could have been me that knocked over the 9 motorcycles.
But that was Lani.
On our way back from visiting some petroglyphs, our horses took their normal path back to the horsecamp. Unfortunately, some locals had just parked their brandnew, gleaming in the sun, probably rented Honda bikes haphazardly on the horses' path.
I saw the fear in these men's eyes when my horse went towards the path without slowing down, but luckily we managed to gracefully manouvre our way around the motorcycles.
Now, Lani wasn't that graceful. As Lani said, she “just tapped that one motorcycle lightly with my foot to make some way!” but as I looked around, I saw all those shiny bikes topple over eachother, one by one, in domino effect. I could hear the men swearing in Spanish something that must have meant “OH F*&CK, damn horses, there goes our deposit!!” and Lani uttering a feeble excuse in Spanglish.
But our horses were not at all impressed and just kept going on for the horsecamp.
Shouldn't have put them on our path, they thought.

It still could have been worse.
I could have been trampled by that raging bull that was heading my way. Now I was in front of the group, because I happened to be riding the leader-of-the-pack horse.
We were happily trotting along, enjoying the Nicaraguan village life around us, when suddenly this one, big, fat, Annoyed as Hell bull came running my way.
From the back I heard our guide scream: “COME BACK!!” and when I looked back, I saw him turning around his horse and ride away for dear life....
Excuse me?? I thought, This horse is on cruise control, I don't know how to make it go left or right, do you think I know how to make it turn around??
So as the bull kept coming closer and closer fast, I didn't know what else to do but to play hide-and-seek the way a 3-year old does: put my hands in front of my eyes and think: if I can't see the bull, the bull can't see me... (I swear, the horse did the exact same thing at that point.)
The bull came at me in a straight line, mercifully decided to take one step to the left, and brushed right past me....


See, it could have been much worse.
Instead, we were galloping along the beach, when I saw a low hanging branch in the distance. But I thought, hey, these horses are smart right? I haven't had to tell 'm which way to go all day, surely it will go either left or right around the tree by itself?
But at the very last moment, I discovered that it wouldn't.
I tried to duck as low as I could, but the tree still hit my shoulder at full horse speed...
Blood gushed and spattered everywhere from a deep neck-to-shoulder slash in my flesh!!
Hahah, no, just kidding! :P
I was covered in scratches and bruises and I did feel pretty sore afterwards.
But see, it could have been worse! :)

Conclusion of the day: Disaster was evoked.
Unfortunately, but not surprisingly in my case, so was bodily harm.
But hey, at least now I have something to write about on my blog! ;)





(This blog was written in English, one time only, so that Lani can read it!)